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Straight From the Library asked if I could provide information about the favorite book of Essimore Darkenchyl, the hero of my new fantasy novel CARGO OF BONES. Well, I asked her her thoughts, and after working dangerously close to the deadline, she sent me a 250,000-word treatise on the subject, complete with index page and works cited. I’ve edited her treatise down to about six hundred words for you gentle readers.
-Z Lindsey, author of CARGO OF BONES
When I was a little girl, I grew up a few blocks from the Holy Library of the spiral city of Oreland. It towers in the background of all my childhood memories. Like all Aordés children, I learned how to write in lost runes, how to catalog low-level secrets, and at what point after a book’s due date it is okay to threaten to cut off someone’s finger.
The answer is five days, by the way.
Eventually, though, I discovered pirate novels! An old human trader I saw by that big rock that looks like a foot sold me one for a gold coin. I now know that was a bit of a high fee for a pirate novel, but it changed my life, so in the end, it was worth it.
My father was very distressed when he caught me reading it, but he bit his tongue and allowed it. He was a fool; I was easily corrupted by the tales of high adventure and rogue-like daring, which is why I decided to become a bureaucrat.
Yes, I decided to leave behind the desert to sail on the ocean as a shipping coordinator for the Blessed Agency. I wasn’t good at lifting stuff or tying knots or swimming, (I’m still not, to be honest), but I was good at using magic to do mundane bureaucratic tasks like calculate payroll! (And I still am!)
That first pirate novel I read was the Dreiwick the Deserter novel Blood and Booty by famed pulp novelist Keroel the Elder. And Dreiwick was my absolute favorite series for a long time. I say was because it admittedly started to go off the rails after a while. The first twist ending was so good, then the second twist was pretty good, then he should’ve stopped doing twist endings.
When I got older, I kind of realized the first Dreiwick book--Blood and Booty--was a propaganda novel. Sure, Dreiwick’s a deserter, which seems pretty subversive, but you only meet him once he’s getting back into the Agency’s good graces. (Not counting the disastrous prequel duology.) Plus, you know, in real life, he didn’t kill King Sila II, it was one of my people, and the Agency just wanted a book where a human killed him to make themselves look good. Everybody wanted Sila dead, but they were upset that magical beings killed him, I guess. They’re so scared of us just because we flay you if you steal a book from our library. I mean, don’t steal books, right? I can’t believe I have to say that.
I know that the first Dreiwick book--Blood and Booty--isn’t the greatest piece of writing, but I can still enjoy a piece of cheesy, fun writing for its own sake.
I’ve done so much in my life. Maybe I’ve lived a more interesting life than Dreiwick. I’ve eaten a lot more magical beings than him, that’s for sure. And I bet he never electrocuted zombies. Well, actually, he might’ve done that, but he never met the god of death, and he never made friends with anyone who cared about him as much as Two Rabbit and Merritt care about me, but it’s all thanks to Keroel the Elder’s epic novel that I got my start. So if you’re ever considering picking up a random nautical-themed fantasy adventure series like the ones the guy who made me up is selling, you know, go for it. I highly recommend it.
Devil bureaucrat Essie Darkenchyl and her friends barely survived the jungle, but now they're going straight to Hell--AKA her hometown!
“What’s happening now?” Two Rabbit shouted.
“Looks like some kind of sheep,” Merritt said.
Essie’s eyes shot open.
“Sheep?” Two Rabbit asked.
She still couldn’t move. She was staring at the sky again. Purple storm clouds.
“Essie?” the doctor asked. “Are you awake? You hear me? You’re bleeding to death! For Aro’s sake, let down that shield or aura or whatever you’re projecting.”
He was just out of sight. They were all out of sight. Essie desperately tried to sit, but it only made the storm clouds choke in on her faster.
“Whoa!” Connie said. “Those are some mean sheep.”
“Sand sheep?” Boon asked.
Their voices made her head throb. She tried to follow, but couldn’t. It sounded like nonsense.
“By Aro—the sheep stepped on that guy’s crotch!” Merritt shouted. “Please don’t say we’re being rescued by sheep.”
“That’s if they don’t attack us, too,” Boon said.
“Holy Mother,” Two Rabbit said. “I’ve never seen a sheep spit like that.”
“Ohhhh.” Essie smiled as much as she could. “Llamas.”
Then she passed out.
Zac Lindsey is an anthropologist and a linguist who focuses on the Maya people of Quintana Roo. Since childhood, he's had a not-so-secret love of weird, silly, and well-structured fantasy. When other people's parents were reading them picture books, his mom was reading him Terry Brooks. He typically writes hopeful and character-driven fantasy.
Today, he lives in Quintana Roo, Mexico with his wife, daughter, and various stray cats.
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Amazon (Book One): https://www.amazon.com/River-Against-Sea-Z-Lindsey-ebook/dp/B0CH3TW3YD/ref=sr_1_1
B&N (Book One): https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-river-against-the-sea-z-lindsey/1144077772
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ReplyDeleteI really like the cover art. Looks great.
ReplyDeleteThe book details sound like an interesting read.
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