Tuesday, October 22, 2024

Straight Chatting fom the Library: Simon Yeats



This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. A randomly drawn winner will be awarded a $25 Amazon/BN gift card. Please click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

READ THE INTERVIEW


If you could have one paranormal ability, what would it be?

Oh, I am torn between the ability to have my whole body ignite like a flame and having X-ray vision. Any man that doesn’t have X-ray vision in their top two is a liar. We were all 15 years of age once with a hot female substitute teacher. Any females offended by that remark can stop commenting on the volleyball scene in Top Gun or how handsome Hugh Jackman is.

What is one thing your readers would be most surprised to learn about you?

That I have made 40 completely paralyzed people regain the ability to walk. That will make the head explode of all the people who bristled at me saying that every 15 year old boy dreams of X-ray vision for only one reason. Yep, even miracle workers have a dark side.

When writing descriptions of your hero/ine, what feature do you start with?

I start with their astrological sign. Better to get that out of the way as quickly as possible as it means bugger all to anything in my stories, but there will always be one astrology weirdo who thinks it is important and I don’t want to upset them. Then I like to fully round out my characters by letting readers know their favorite shape, preferred adjectives, and which side of the Manchester City/Manchester United divide they sit on. That was all sarcasm. I have never given this idea any thought. Why? Because I am the main character in all my memoirs. I do not think I described myself at all in any of my books. For those playing at home, I am 6’2” (188 cms if you know metric) handsome, but not Mel Gibson handsome, and my favorite hobby is helping old ladies across the road. Did I mention handsome?

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

I had this question on another interview questionnaire and I did not know what either of those things are. I am not ashamed to say that 3 months later I still do not know. I cannot shake it from my head that it refers to a person being an avid gardener or someone that runs up behind a person and pulls their pants down.

Did you learn anything from writing this book? If so, what?

I learned an enormous amount about what it takes to shape an existence through the lens of remembering every moment in life as being both memorable AND enjoyable. If a person is not doing that they are in for a good 80 years of misery on this planet. Many of my friends always ask me how is it that I remember all these moments from my life with such clarity, and my response is always, ‘If I didn’t remember all these moments in life so clearly, what would be the point?’

READ THE BLURBS




The Lesser Known Travel Tips memoirs are a hilarious series of travel misadventures and dubious personal introspection by Australian author Simon Yeats, who from an early age learned that the best way to approach the misfortunes of this world is to laugh about them.

Simon shares his comedic insights into the unusual and uproarious elements of living life as an Aussie ex-pat and having a sense of Wanderlust as pervasive as the Spanish Flu in 1918 or hordes of Mongols in 12th Century.

From how to keep yourself entertained when unwittingly forced to watch 11 hours of live sumo wrestling in Japan, to surviving heartbreak in India at the hands of a French flight attendant, to 48 hours spent in Nepal that qualify as the funniest most gut wrenching travel experience since Captain Bligh was set adrift in the Pacific, to his unsuccessful attempts at avoiding going to a brothel in Thailand. From what to do when several people converge to rob you after midnight on a deserted Copacabana Beach, to how to save the Sierra Mountain Range from a wildfire outbreak due to a lack of quality toilet paper, to where not to go in Tijuana when trying to locate the origins to stories of the city’s mythical adult entertainment, to how to save yourself from drowning when caught in a storm while sailing off the California coast. From how to outwit the Italian police while trying to find parking in downtown Genoa, to how to negotiate exploring the Roman ruins of Plovdiv, Bulgaria while on crutches, to how to impress the German Mafia with 80s dance moves, to how to leave a lasting impression on a crowded bar in Gothenburg, Sweden after combining alcohol and antibiotics.

Simon Yeats has gone into the world and experienced all the out of the ordinary moments for you to sit back and enjoy the experience without the need to break a leg, contract Dengue fever, or rupture a pancreas.

READ AN EXCERPT


Excerpt from How to Start a Riot in a Brothel in Thailand by Ordering a Beer and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips

At any airport in the world, a person can always observe the two types of people present. The difference between the two groups is stark. Which means you do not have to be David Attenborough to identify them. One group is the heading off on a trip bunch. These people are giddy, excited, and expectant. The type of people happy to overspend on items at the airport newsstand because they are all cashed up. This group is also the most susceptible to purchasing a neck pillow.

Then there is the arriving home set. Easily identified as being the more exhausted, hollowed out, downcast individuals who are no longer talking with the other family members, or loved ones, traveling with them. No plastic bags with bottles of duty-free booze with this lot. They are broke. Or worse than broke, having spent the last week charging everything to their credit card. As they badly under budgeted for the trip away.

I see both groups regularly; I have been part of both groups.

Just to be clear, I am not talking about the arrival lounge here. These are the people milling about at the departure gate. At arrivals, there are two distinct types of people, and it does not matter which of the departing groups they started off in. The thank God the flight is over, happy to have landed mob. And the thank God the flight is over, now I can have a cigarette crowd.

The greatest thing about living overseas is that no matter which way I am flying, returning home-home, or returning to my home-away-from-home, I always consider myself in the being excited clique. Flying home still feels like I am going off on vacation. I am excited to see family again and catch up with old friends. Flying away, I am thrilled to be continuing once again with the traveling adventure that has been my life. The ultimate win/win scenario. It is like being able to maintain a meth habit, and a job.

MEET THE AUTHOR


Simon Yeats has lived nine lives, and by all estimations, is fast running out of the number he has left. His life of globetrotting the globe was not the one he expected to lead. He grew up a quiet, shy boy teased by other kids on the playgrounds for his red hair. But he developed a keen wit and sense of humor to always see the funnier side of life.

With an overwhelming love of travel, a propensity to find trouble where there was none, and being a passionate advocate of mental health, Simon’s stories will leave a reader either rolling on the floor in tears of laughter, or breathing deeply that the adventures he has led were survived.

No author has laughed longer or cried with less restraint at the travails of life.

Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0CBNQLSPW/about
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@authoryeats
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authoryeats/

Book One: https://www.amazon.com/Brothel-Thailand-Ordering-Lesser-Travel-ebook/dp/B0CLDBSXGX/ref=sr_1_3
Book Two: https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Mugged-Janeiro-Singing-Police-ebook/dp/B0CPCBMD1N/ref=sr_1_4
Book Three: https://www.amazon.com/Survive-Yourself-Dancing-Bavarian-Nightclub-ebook/dp/B0CR6GDDXR/ref=sr_1_2

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